When Cartman hits Token with a rock, the FBI begins an investigation into his hate crime. Cartman is put on trial and then sentenced to prison as an example; but first he goes on the run with Kenny in Kenny's "Go-Go Action Bronco". They almost make it to the Mexican border, after a "high speed chase". Cartman is sent to a juvenile detention center to begin serving his 13-year sentence and he learns to cope with life on the inside. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan are in desperate need of Cartman's weight to help them win a big sledding race they have against the girls. They work to try and get Cartman released, meanwhile Cartman works on escaping.

How Kenny Dies : Kenny dies in a sledding accident while they are testing alternatives to make up for the loss of Cartman's weight.

When Cartman gets 2 dollars from the Tooth Fairy, the boys scheme to stick as many teeth as the can under Cartman's pillow, so they can purchase a new Sega videogame system. After he "loses" 112 teeth, Cartman's mother tells him the truth about the tooth fairy, which he tells the others about. Kyle begins to seek reality, when he discovers that everything his parent's have told him about is a lie. The boys hit upon a scheme where they go to a rich neighborhood and steal the rich kid's tooth fairy money. Unfortunately, they run into a mob, run by Loogie that has the tooth trade market cornered. Meanwhile, one dentist from the ADA, suspects this illegal activity is going on.

How Kenny dies : Kenny dies when he walks in his cement shoes into a part of the Platte River that is actually deep enough to drown him.

The boys' parents' force them to see "Cirque du Cheville" and they aren't interested until the see the 8-year-old Vladchick Contorting Quintuplets from Romania. Seeing how much money the circus makes, the boys decided to stage their own performance, though they blame their inability to contort on Kenny's inability to sing. The quintuplets and their grandmother defect from Romania and wind up staying at the Marsh's home. The quintuplet's grandmother turns on Grandpa Marsh and then he loves her to death. So the girls are now motherless and become a media sensation. When the girl's father is brought out by the Romanian government to demand his daughter's back, Janet Reno goes undercover as the Easter Bunny to liberate the girls from the Marsh's home. Meanwhile, Kenny's mother eventually gets him to Europe (Romania specifically) to become a better singer.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when the American government accidentally shoots him when trying to extricate him from Romania.

Mr. Mackey and the staff of South Park elementary school believe they've identified what the problem is with new student Timmy. About the only thing Timmy can do is say his name in a deep and wicked sounding voice and flail his arms at the same time. Ignorant of the fact that Timmy is "retarded"; they believe he has ADD (Attention Deficient Disorder), which relieves him of the responsibility to do any homework. Soon afterwards the rest of the class get themselves diagnosed with ADD, and they all get prescribed Ritalin. Later, Skyler and the members of the "Lords of the Underworld" discover Timmy, who becomes their new lead vocalist. His addition helps them to win the battle of the bands, which will let them open for Phil Collins at "LaLaPaLaLaPaZa..." Instead, Timmy becomes very popular and soon Phil Collins (with Oscar in hand) is going to be opening for Timmy. Meanwhile the students and parents of South Park are all on Ritalin and just complacent enough to sit through a Phil Collins show. It's up to Chef to find a cure and save the day.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when Cartman under the influence of Ritalin hits him with a frying pan in Cartman's effort to kill one of the little pink Christina Aguilera bugs, a known side effect of Ritalin...

In this episode of South Park Classics a British Person narrates the story of Pip's origin in Charles Dicken's "Great Expectations". In the story, the ever-optimistic Pip gets a job at the Havesham Estate where he meets Estella, the girl of his dreams. She only spurns his optimism with her insulting tongue. When Pip is offered the opportunity to become a gentleman he goes to London. After several months he returns to the Havesham Estate, where eventually he discovers that Miss Havesham plans to break his heart. Her plan is to use Pip's tears and the tears of other men whose hearts have been broken by Estella to power her Genesis device. The Genesis device will allow her to take over Estella's soul and allow her and her robotic monkeys to take their revenge on the male race.

How Kenny dies: Kenny doesn't die in this episode, as he and the other boys don't appear.

Tired of his friends, Cartman seeks the friendship of older men. Using the Internet, he makes a connection with men who wind up being arrested by the FBI, including Mr. Garrison. An organization called NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) tries to come to their aid, but feel they won't be successful until they have a poster child, enter Eric Cartman. They give a dinner in his honor in which he invites all of his mature young friends. They adjourn to their rooms, just as the FBI and another NAMBLA (North American Marlon Brando Look Alike) arrive to save the children and liberate the NAMBLA web domain. Meanwhile, the McCormicks have decided they want to have another child, which causes Kenny to have nightmares and to take drastic actions.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when he is run over by an ambulance; but after his mother gives birth to a new baby boy, they decide to call him Kenny, commenting that this is the 52nd time this has happened.

Kyle needs a kidney transplant, but his mother through the advice of Stan mother's seeks alternative holistic treatments from Miss Information, the woman who runs a new age store. Due to the previous week's activities regarding sex with small children and his substantial police record, Mr. Garrison is advised by the school board to take some time off. He takes advantage of the time to write a romance novel. Stan finds out from the doctor that the only person in South Park who has a kidney that could be transplanted into Kyle is Cartman. Cartman, of course, has a price of $10 million for his kidney. Stan sees his friend dying and is beside himself while their parents have new age blinders on. Stan, Kenny, Butters and Timmy go to Cartman's house, with the plan to take one of Cartman's kidneys. When Cartman thwarts their plan, Stan becomes depressed about the inevitable loss of his friend; however, Kenny isn't as sympathetic. Miss Information offers the services of a couple of hippies, who are unloading their junk at the store, as holistic healers. When they see the state that Kyle is in, they of course immediately recommend he see a real doctor and the citizen's of South Park begin trashing the new age store. Stan with the help of the parent's gets Cartman's kidney for Stan. Meanwhile, Harequin Romances aren't interested in Mr. Garrison's romance novel as it contains the word penis in it 6,083 times and they consider it gay. After hearing his argument about women liking penises, they may have reconsidered because the novel does get published and he becomes a best selling author.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when a piano falls on top of him; right after he gets pissed off with Stan, and tells him to screw himself, he's going home. Stan never notices.

Chef and Jimbo are on opposite sides of the issue of South Park's flag, which features 4 white stick figures hanging a black stick figure. Chef searches for supporters for his cause and the children prepare to debate the issue. Stan & Kyle head up a team for not changing the flag, much to the annoyance of Chef, who has converted to Islam and changed his name to Abdul Mohammed Jabar-Rouf Kareem Ali. Wendy and Cartman head up the side for changing the flag, although Cartman's initial participation is useless. The mayor plans to use the school debate as a way to disconnect herself politically from the whole flag issue. Jimbo and Ned infiltrate the KKK to divert the Klan's participation in the flag debate. When Cartman finally starts to participate it turns Wendy on to the point of distraction. The KKK with their member Mr. Hand join Jimbo's side, although Jimbo is more interested in preserving the history of the flag, not the racial message the KKK is in favor of. Wendy confesses to Bebe of her attraction to Cartman and Bebe tells her it will keep distracting her until she acts on her feelings. The debate starts, but before Wendy can make her point, she kisses Cartman to regain her composure, which sends Stan into shock. Chef realizes that Stan & Kyle's point of view on the flag issue was colorblind, the boys only thought it represented killing, which from their point of view happens all the time. The town eventually comes to colorful solution to the flag problem. Meanwhile Wendy may have regained her composure and her interest in Stan; she's stirred up other feelings in Cartman.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when he explodes after eating 60 antacid tablets and then drinking water.

The boys are in a popular boy group called "Fingerbang"; well they are in Cartman's dream. Seeing it as a message from God, Cartman intends to fulfill his dream. However, since most popular boy bands have five members, the boys need to hold auditions for a fifth member. Randy Marsh is against Stan's participation in any boy band. Wendy wins the audition and joins the band. Despite the fact that they suck, "Fingerbang" tries to get a performance at the mall. They eventually get their gig at the mall and Randy tells Stan the traumatic tale of his brief stint in a boy band called "The Ghetto Ave. Boyz", which upon his return to South Park made him feel humiliated. The band is ready to go on, but Stan hasn't arrived yet. The gig is threatened, since there are only 4 members. Randy comes to terms with his past and allows Stan to participate and make his own mistakes. Stan arrives and the group is set to perform, when the mall elevator tragically crushes Kenny. The show is in jeopardy again, when a former boy band member steps into the spotlight and saves the gig.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when the mall's elevator crushes him.

The boys (less Kyle) attend church and the priest puts the fear of hell in them. So they start attending Sunday school and learn they must be prepared to confess all their sins. Except for Kyle, who because he is Jewish is already going to hell. Butters asks what is going to happen to Timmy, after all he can't confess his sins, he can only say "Timmy!" Scared out of their minds, the boys feel they need to confess all their sins. Seeing Kenny die, they feel an urgency to confess before they die. However, at the church they catch the priest in a compromising position. Feeling that the priest isn't powerful enough to save them, they decide to save themselves. So Cartman begins preaching and promises to lead the children of South Park to salvation. Meanwhile, Satan considers his devotion to Chris versus his desire to get back together with Saddam. Yes, Saddam is back, after all where was he gonna go, Detroit?

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when he is run over by a bus crossing the street, before he was able to confess his sins. Has he gone to hell? Again?

Cartman preaches and the children begin plans to build a church. Satan spends the night with Saddam and tries to reconcile it with Chris. Saddam takes matters into his own hands and eliminates the problem with Chris, or so he thinks, after all, where was he gonna go, Detroit? Meanwhile, Kenny wasn't killed in the previous episode, but the bus that ran him over stops in Mexico, where he is discovered. So Kenny calls home from Mexico, but Cartman and the guys think he is calling from hell. Saddam and Chris continue to kill each other and come back, only causing more stress for Satan, who in his time of crisis turns to God for advice. Cartman starts faith healing and asking for money in his quest to make $10 million. Jesus intercedes and sends Cartman to somewhere worse than hell, Mexico.

How Kenny dies: Kenny Lives !!!

The children enter 4th grade and decide to immediately take a stand against their new teacher. Their new teacher is named Ms. Choksondik. She is a woman with large breasts and who doesn't wear a bra. Remembering fondly their 3rd grade year, the children seek a way to travel back in time. Two college students that live next door to Kyle offer them a solution using Timmy's wheelchair as the inertia device. The device doesn't appear to work but Timmy can't stop or get out of his wheelchair because of the risk of an explosion. However, when the device's timer runs out, Timmy disappears in time. The children are convinced Timmy is reliving the 3rd grade (in reality he is doing some serious time traveling). They want the college kids to build them another time machine so they can join him, only the college kids are arguing about the number of original "Star Trek" episodes there were. The children work on patching up that relationship. Meanwhile, in an attempt to reach out to her students, Ms. Choksondik demands to see the children's former 3rd grade teacher, Mr. Garrison. No one knows where he is (because they haven't gone to look), they speculate somewhere in the mountains. She finds him living in the mountains like a hermit and seeks his enlightenment, which she does. In addition Mr. Garrison finds his own enlightenment and finally comes to grip with his gayness. He is ready to become a teacher again; only South Park Elementary doesn't hire gay teachers. When Ms. Choksondik begins treating the children the way Mr. Garrison did, the children begin to respect her and are ready to learn.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when the SWAT team uses him in an attempt to deactivate the explosives on Timmy's wheelchair.

Kyle and Cartman compare their Dawson's Creek trapper keepers. A much older student named "Bill Cosby" is very interested in Cartman's trapper keeper. When Bill Cosby steals his trapper keeper, Cartman, Barbrady and the boys set out after him, but when they catch him they discover the truth about "Bill Cosby". "Bill" is from the future a la Terminator, and he has come back into time to destroy Cartman's trapper keeper. They destroy the trapper keeper, but Cartman gets his mother to buy him a new one. Then his new trapper keeper begins to assimilate everything, including him. It soon heads for Cheyenne Mountain. It's up to Kyle to remove the CPU from the trapper keeper, but he gets an assist from a surprising source. Meanwhile, Ike is starting kindergarten and Mr. Garrison is the new kindergarten teacher. Mr. Garrison shows a little favoritism towards Ike because he is Kyle's brother. The kindergarten class holds their election for class president and it is Filmore vs. Ike. The vote is six to six and it is up to Flora to cast the deciding vote. Even when she decides, the Filmore faction wants a recount. Filmore's Aunt Rosie O'Donnell comes to help decide the election. Instead she helps out in another way.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when the assimilated Cartman breaks out of Cartman's room.

The 4th graders are putting on their annual production of a play about Helen Keller. Butters tells them that the kindergartener's Thanksgiving play is real good, it's a "Thanksgiving extravaganza". So they decide to rework their play into a musical and instead of Helen having a dog, she will have a pet turkey. While the others rework the play, Kyle and Timmy obtain a turkey. The one Timmy picks is not exactly the pick of the litter. They call him Gobbles and bring him back to the theater where the others are disappointed with their choice. Cartman brings in South Park's theater expert who helps them to redo their show and he also worked with someone who has a professional trained turkey. Timmy tries to train Gobbles. The professional turkey arrives and his trainer sees a problem with two turkeys on the stage. He informs Cartman that an "unfortunate accident" is needed to take care of the turkey dilemma. The trainer takes matters into his own hands and convinces Timmy that he isn't allowed to keep Gobbles. So Timmy lets Gobbles go. The big show is about to begin when Timmy discovers how the trainer tricked him. So he leaves to search for Gobbles. Meanwhile, the show goes on with theater expert taking Timmy's part. Jimbo and Ned are out hunting wild turkeys. When Jimbo shoots at Gobbles but wounds Timmy instead, he asks how he can make it up to him. Timmy has just the turkey for a target, leaving Gobbles to perform the finale.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when Cartman's attempt to solve the turkey dilemma with a falling stage light hits him instead.

Ms. Choksondik has the children dissect endangered manatees, which were en route to the Denver Zoo, but accidentally delivered to South Park Elementary. Meanwhile, Cartman is at home, where his mother holds an intervention for his eating problem. She and the others are sending him to fat camp. For $41, Kenny is challenged by the other children to eat the spleen of one of the manatees. Later when he pukes it up, they offer him even more money to eat his own puke, which he does. Cartman returns from camp, 40 pounds lighter and appears on "Jesus and Pals". Kenny also appears and eats dog crap. Jesus calls him a prostitute. The children wonder what that means, so they ask Chef, who with James Taylor, tells them and gets in trouble. Cartman steals food and candy from the cafeteria and elsewhere and brings it to himself at fat camp; where the real Eric Cartman is still located and is as fat as ever. The real Cartman is selling it to the other children at camp. Kenny popularity is rising as he gets his own television show, "The Krazy Kenny Show". Up next for the show is a pay-per-view event where he plans to get inside Ms. Crabtree's uterus for six hours. Unfortunately the event may have to be postponed when Kenny is arrested in New York City for prostitution when he gives Howard Stern a "hummer" for $10 on the air. When the fake Cartman says something out of character, they boys discover the truth and threaten to expose him. Instead they use that knowledge and have him pose as Kenny for the pay-per-view special.

How Kenny dies: Fake Kenny dies when the pressure inside Ms. Crabtree's uterus is too much.

Cartman has 4 tickets for the "Raging Pussies" concert and Kyle can't go. His parents say that to go, Kyle has to shovel the entire driveway and bring democracy to Cuba. So he writes a letter to Castro and Castro after reading the letter brings democracy to Cuba. Of course even though he completed this impossible task, Kyle's parents still won't let him go to the concert. So Kyle wishes that he didn't have any parents. Cartman suggests that he call the police and tell them that his parents have been "molestering" him, that will make them go away for a while. When Kyle does, they do. The kids go to the concert and have a party at the Broflovski's. Soon all the children are calling in on their parents and all the adults in South Park. Before long only children populate the town. When a couple from out of town's car breaks down, the find the South Park divided into Smiley Town (with mayor Cartman) and Treasure Cove (run by Stan and Kyle). The couple is given the task of retrieving a book for the fat-ass (err, Cartman) but the citizens of Treasure Cove capture them. For the couple to use a phone, they must retrieve the fat-asses' book, so that one of the citizens of Treasure Cove won't have to be sacrificed to the carousel of the Provider (a statue of John Elway). Meanwhile, the locked-up adults of South Park get therapy to prevent them from sexually abusing their children.

How Kenny dies: Kenny is already dead when we see him in the "Logan's Run" / "Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome" world they've turned the town into. Obviously he was an early victim of carousel.

Kyle and Ike anxiously await the arrival of Mr. Hankey. When he doesn't show, Kyle calls the others for a late night emergency meeting. They seek out Mr. Hankey, who they find living with his alcoholic wife, named Autumn, and their three little nuggets, Cornwallis, Amber and Simon. He informs them that no one seems to be into Christmas. They all decide to try to spread some Christmas cheer. Their effort fails and the boys (getting inspiration from A Charlie Brown Christmas Special) decide to create an animated special of their own. Featuring Jesus, Santa Claus and animated versions of themselves, they will call their special "The Spirit of Christmas". The boys seek a $300 budget from the mayor and Kyle goes to tell the good news to Mr. Hankey. The Hankey family is drafted to get the old drive-in back into shape for the debut of the Christmas special. Butters' has made the cutouts for the animation, but the cutout of him is not going to be needed. Meanwhile, Mr. Hankey tries to inspire the Christmas spirit into his eldest nugget Cornwallis, via his own version of the "The Circle of Life". The boys start recording the dialog for their special and are told by the sound guy when they vary from the script and start cussing each other out that it is very funny. They start to animate their film and after spending several hours of working on one line and the setup of the next scene, the boys are ready to give up and in fact Cartman goes home. The boys need a miracle; in the meantime, the Hankeys have begun their clean-up of the drive-in. One "Need a Miracle" song later and the boys have a completed film, shipped from Korea. At the debut a technical breakdown causes more Christmas depression. Getting the Christmas spirit back from Cornwallis, Mr. Hankey manages to save to the day with the film reminding everyone that the true meaning of Christmas is commercialism and presents.

How Kenny dies: Kenny dies when he is run over by a car while crossing the street. Stan decides they will include his death in the film.